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Archive for December, 2011

‘….whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord….So then, let us stop judging one another.’ May 2012 then be a year of living a life of giving, a life of sharing and kindness, without judgement. May we learn to walk with God.

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A new year ……..

The end of 2011….and what a year it has been. Definitely not one of the best, but it had its moments. Seeing my kids grow up, sharing my days with them, watching their lovely faces light up. I had my own small victories too…..savouring my freedom from Prozac and mood enhancers, not ever going to my GP to mention a few. The rest of the year was horrible: the trouble with Dad, settling him in a care centre, taking over his business affairs, dealing with his moods and constant criticism and backstabbing…..there were times that I thought I’ll never survive. But perhaps the best thing of it all was the acceptance that I’ll never be able to satisfy his needs, I’ll never be good enough, do enough, give up enough of myself…..he will always be sad and bitter. Now I understand that I do my best and if it is not good enough, well, so be it…..at least I tried. Dad will not change, but as long as I remain true to my own conscience, its okay.
My prayer for 2012 is just that it will be a better year….a year with less heartache, tears and worries and that God will lead me on the path He laid for me; and that light an love will be my constant companions. I thank God for the lessons of the past, but leave it behind as I reach out to the future.

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Am watching Junior and saw Frank (as usual he plays the role of the bad guy!). This bloke was my first HUGE infatuation….I saw him in The Mask of Zorro and kept a poster of him as Dracula in my bedroom. Today he is old and grey, but ooooh…..still VERY sexy!

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I started reading Stephen King’s book ‘UR’ today and discovered something really interesting along the way (I always find some really good tidbit amongst SK’s ramblings). Anyhow this one is a quote by Fritz Lieber…he said that a book is ‘the scholar’s mistress’. I’ve never heard that comparison, but somehow it rings true…..I only have to look at my own ‘problem’ to see the reality of these words. Indeed, people, I am addicted to reading, I prefer books above having friends…..books ARE my friends. Most of the people I meet eventually come to the conclusion that I’m not friend material….I do not do coffee dates, I prefer NOT having company and I never share my life with others….friends and family alike. People think it is because I am not a nice person or because I dislike people….I don’t…honestly…I love talking to people, I enjoy entertaining others and am usually the centre of attention at a party. I am most definitely not shy and talk to people about everything an anything they choose….BUT….I see it as a performance and it wears me out physically and emotionally, which is the main reason for my solitary existence.
From an early age I’ve seen that books can comfort the weary soul, it distracts from everyday worries and it doesn’t judge, speak ill of you behind your back or demand constant attention….it is, in other words, the PERFECT mistress or lover.  I was only 3 years old when I read my first book and it was love at first sight. For 41 years my tales of good and evil, crime and suspense, love and hate have kept me company. My lover has been here through the toughest times of my life and it never gave up on me…the written word is patient and kind…it never goes away and often leaves you with just a hint of nostalgia. I’ve never read a book, put it down and then just forgot it…every book I’ve ever read has left something of itself with me.
For that I wish to thank those who write…..the Hemingways, the Shakespeare’s, the King’s….for yes, indeed, they are kings….kings of the wondrous worlds they create through words and imagination.
I think God understood the power of books way before we even thought about paper making and ink blotting….that’s why He ‘commissioned’ the greatest Book of all. He knew that people will want to read it and He also knew that the Words will stay with them and take root within there hearts so that they can share the same wonder from generation to generation.
As usual I think there are those who’ll think: ‘Oh my goodness, here she is with her ludicrous psychobabble again!’ Well, you know, I don’t care what you think….these simple words come from the heart.

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I’ve been wanting to read this book since forever…..and,man, it was WORTH it!!! It was just what I expected….very disturbing reading….  For those NOT in the know….the book is about a house: The Pines…passed down through generations of a very rich and influential family in the US. Just outside the city limits of New York, this wonderful retreat held a secret….it draws souls, but not just any souls, EVIL ones like Hitler. It poses the question about life after death…..where does the soul go? You may think that this is just another horror novella about something akin to Shirley Jackson’s ‘Hill House’, you may be right, but I found it interesting.  Maybe its my old obsession with the occult rearing its head, I don’t know, but I’ve always wondered about death…what happens, where do you go? And with people like Hitler and Bin Laden (even Oswald) out there, my goodness….are they really just gone, or did their souls survive somewhere! Simply drooling to do more evil???
Look, people, I’m a nutso, yet firm believer in ghosts and spirits….have actually seen a few myself (and not one was the result of a little underdone potato!) But if the good guys hang around for whatever reason, then surely the bad guys must also be about….somewhere. So, THAT is why this book made some weird kind of sense to me…..like the theories about Nostradamus’ prophecies…it has some truth in it. Well, enough said…..I enjoyed this story a lot, and seeing that I’ve been waiting to read it for so long….please don’t be too hard on my judgement of it. At the end a story is the choice of the reader and while many may enjoy one, others will prefer another….that is the human condition….the difference in each of us. Being human is great, don’t you think, as long as we allow each other the chance to live life as we like it and, well, reading the words we love most…..think about it….we may have eternity to ponder this!

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Jessica

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I remember seeing a review of this book in one of Dean Koontz’ books. I think it was in ‘Phantoms’. This was something like 15 years ago. I’ve been looking for this book ever since. I finally downloaded it and so far it seems to be as interesting as I expected it to be.

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