Archive for April, 2012

Hubby and me

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The stranger in the mirror

Have you ever had the feeling that you’ve missed something REALLY important, but you don’t quite know what? I get that feeling every time I look in the mirror…sometimes I want to press the panic button to call the security service….who the hell IS that woman?

In my post this morning I spoke of music and memories and times gone by….sometimes I wonder where time has disappeared to. Just yesterday I was this pretty young thing with dreams and hopes and stars in my eyes. Now I am slightly plump, crows feet crawling over my face, my hair turning grey and the only stars I have in my eyes are the remnants of the cataracts the doctors removed last year! ….well, at least I still have my sense of humour!!

It’s terrible though, don’t you agree? How time slips through our fingers….how suddenly we become old. I mean, I don’t FEEL old. I can still climb a tree (or a wall for that matter – I’m actually known for this in the neighbourhood; whenever someone is locked out of their property, say they lost their keys or something, I’m elected to climb the wall and get inside to bypass the electric mechanism that opens the gate), I still run (not very fast, and I do limp, but I get there eventually), I do everything in my house by myself…I never ask for help, even if it means I have to hang upside down from the top floor windows to give it a wash…my husband can’t understand, but I never sit still, I’m always busy with something and sometimes I’ll do the strangest things (like drying my hair under one of those hand-dryers you get in the public toilets!)….that’s just me, and that has not changed. But oh my word, the ol’ body….shame….I think they’ll use me as a prop for the next McMuffin commercial! Ha-ha-ha…

You know, I look at all these young people, drugging and drinking their way through college….or simply not enjoying life as they are supposed to. My own son, he is 21, tends to be a regular old spoil sport. He is this boring you man, he doesn’t take his girlfriend out, he worries about everything and can be very serious at times. The other day I told him to lighten up…’this is YOUR time’..I said. ‘You only get one chance to be young…enjoy it. Embrace each day and live it to the fullest.’ This is something that you don’t really appreciate until you are older. I do enjoy being older, you have so much more wisdom and it is as if you just don’t care about appearances anymore…you suddenly realise that this old body is simply NOTHING; its just a shell that holds the soul, the true self. Unfortunately you are also confronted with your own mortality. It is only now that I realise we all live on borrowed time…and that time runs out faster than we think. 

One shouldn’t worry about the what if’s and the back when’s ….one should still live in the moment. When I told my son to enjoy life, to embrace each day, I suddenly realised that I should tell this to myself too….yes, I’m not young, thin and pretty anymore, yes I am definitely at an age where death is reaching out to me, but I’m not dead yet!!! I am still alive and well, I still have energy and the will to achieve things…as they say, it isn’t over until the fat lady sings! Well, THIS fat lady will definitely not sing anytime soon!!! 

Remember the Brandi Carlisle song ‘The Story’? ‘All of these lines across my face, tell you the story of who I am….’ ; this is my message to that ol’ girl in the mirror! You’re history girl!!!! It’s written on your face! So you’d damn well appreciate it!

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Read this and be entertained!!!

I am SO impressed….thanks to my following of dear ol’ Frodo (Elijah Wood) on Twitter, I’ve discovered the most wonderful site…this is my jam (http://www.thisismyjam.com/sharonhalliday). Music has been such a part of my life since, well, since forever….I’ve always felt that you can measure time in a person’s existence just by listening to various songs from the different eras one lives through. Music triggers memories of times (good and bad). Example: golden oldies from the 60’s like ‘Where have all the flowers gone’ by Joan Baez reminds me of my early childhood….sunlight streaming through the kitchen windows and me playing with my lego’s on the floor. I smell home cooking…beans, rice and leg of lamb. Then there is Elvis, the King himself…my brother used to listen to him all the time and I remember him hatching chicken eggs under a lightbulb in his desk drawer, the rest of his room crowded with books and chemistry sets! ABBA marks the 70’s for me, Meatloaf, Black Sabbath, The Door’s….I can go on and on. I discovered gospel when I turned 16 and fell in love with Don Francisco’s crooning and Jimmy Swaggart with his band of ‘brothers’ (John Starnes and the like). Jimmy in particular brings a memory that lies close to my heart…’Let your living water flow’ was the song I listened to driving home from my little Ilze’s funeral. Even today I cannot really listen to it without hurting all over…as if something is putting my heart in a vice. 

Anyhow, the message I wish to bring to you today is simple….music is life, without music there will be no memories and without memories there will be no music. ‘This is my jam’ opened my mind to new and exciting styles….I’m discovering new artists to love every day. I’m suddenly taking to heart the hints given in my magazines about music to listen to…I search it on the site and am pleasantly surprised every time. I read an article this morning about a fashion blogger and he says that he listens to Band of Horses…I’ve never even heard about them. But oh boy, they are GOOD! Their music is so calming and gentle on the ear, yet so full of spirit…I uploaded the song The Funeral….and also found (on MP3Skull) the song ‘The Great Salt Lake’….it is GREAT!!!

So dear friends and followers out there….take this hint from an old lady…you are NEVER too old the learn something new and ‘this is my jam’ is definitely something to investigate! C’mon people…LIVE A LITTLE!!

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This is my jam……jaih!!!

Thanks to my simple adoration of Elijah Wood I discovered the site ‘this is my jam’….its wonderful!!! I get to share and discover new music every day! I’ve always loved Linkin Park, but OMG…..to share it with fellow fans is really a great experience. So, my darling Frodo, thank you, even if you don’t know this old gal……

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Menishka and Sianna

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A better day….finally!

Yesterday my soul was filled with desperation……it was indeed a dark day for me, for all of us actually. I had all the -ad-feelings: bad, mad, sad….. Somewhere, someone (or rather Someone) listened and my daughter got an appointment with a child therapist today (they called yesterday evening, they’ve had a cancellation)…..her 1st appointment was scheduled for 24 May. As you’ll remember the things that happened in her life yesterday was in need of emergency intervention and, well, it happened! She had such a good day after her session this morning and I’m very thankful for that. I can finally find the little ray of hope in all this darkness.
I do still pray for them…still hoping that God will also touch my little boy so that he can have success in his schoolwork and seeing the miracle today, I know this hope is not in vain.

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Why did Jesus fold the linen burial cloth after His resurrection? I never noticed this….The Gospel of John (20:7) tells us that the napkin, which was placed over the face of Jesus, was not just thrown aside like the grave clothes.The Bible takes an entire verse to tell us that the napkin was neatly folded, and was placed at the head of that stony coffin.Early Sunday morning, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance.She ran and found Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved. She said, ‘They have taken the Lord’s body out of the tomb, and I don’t know where they have put him!’Peter and the other disciple ran to the tomb to see. The other disciple out ran Peter and got there first. He stopped and looked in and saw the linen cloth lying there, but he didn’t go in.Then Simon Peter arrived and went inside. He also noticed the linen wrappings lying there, while the cloth that had covered Jesus’ head was folded up and lying to the side.Was that important? Absolutely!Is it really significant? Yes!In order to understand the significance of the folded napkin, you have to understand a little bit about Hebrew tradition of that day.The folded napkin had to do with the Master and Servant, and every

Jewish boy knew this tradition.

When the servant set the dinner table for the master, he made sure that it was exactly the way the master wanted it.

The table was furnished perfectly, and then the servant would wait, just out of sight, until the master had finished eating, and the servant would not dare touch that table, until the master was finished..

Now if the master were done eating, he would rise from the table, wipe his fingers, his mouth, and clean his beard, and would wad up that napkin and toss it onto the table.

The servant would then know to clear the table. For in those days, the wadded napkin meant, “I’m finished..”

But if the master got up from the table, and folded his napkin, and laid it beside his plate, the servant would not dare touch the table, because………

The folded napkin meant,

“I’m coming back!”


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I’ve been pleasantly relaxed these past two days …..the first time since, well, since 1999 more or less. This euphoria ended abruptly this afternoon when trouble gave more than just a nod in my direction. Remember the story about my adopted daughter? Well, she made some waves in school again…..went ballistic; the teacher’s words. I’m totally lost……what on earth must I do to fix this kid? I’ve been praying for years for all my children and it seems that God has given them to us and just kind of left us to it……I have trouble with my boys’ studies….both are NOT good students and by saying they perform average is really exaggerating the truth…..their marks barely allow them to pass. They have no disciplinary problems though and have always been very good boys….never in trouble. Tyla is a different story…..she’s brilliant in her schoolwork…..I’ll even dare to call her a protege, but man, she has NO idea what discipline is despite our set rules and moral values. She keeps relapsing into the old ways when she was still in the care of her great-grandmother. I often wonder about this, because I feel really lost…..where is God’s help in all this? After all, its not about me, its about the kids and they are NOT happy to be either mediocre students or kids with behavioural problems…..it makes them miserable! Why doesn’t God lend a hand to help them….give them good marks in school and make my girl an angel with manners that exceeds expectations? Why should the children suffer? They have to grow up with the knowledge that they are not bright enough or well-behaved…..I, on the other hand, don’t care how and who they are….I adore them anyway and whatever they are, it doesn’t reflect on me….it really is about THEM only. I can just hope that somewhere along the line God will finally hear my prayers for them and give them a break. I’m really becoming desperate….I’ve been hoping and praying for 22 years now…..so, God, please, hear the prayer of a mother who just wants her children to taste success and true fullfilment in their lives…..they have done nothing wrong, they deserve Your kindness.

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Books! Books! Books!

How do I love books….let me count the ways!!! As many of you might have thought (and you would have been SO right!)…I really am totally addicted to reading and not even CLOSE to rehabilitation! In all my posts of the past few days you have witnessed my wanderings and ventures into one of the most historical cities in our country, Port Elizabeth in the Eastern Cape. Well, wandering and eating wasn’t all I did! I actually read quite a number of books too!

I finished with Gretta Curran Browne’s book “Relative Strangers” and was so impressed. As you know I’m more into paranormal and horror, but I thought expanding my horizons will not hurt, hence this story. It did not disappoint…its a lovely family drama and the author captures you from the beginning.

Another one I read was Stephen King’s ‘Riding the Bullet’, which I thoroughly enjoyed (of course, I did!!). It is SO Stephen King……very well written with lots and lots of emotion. The characters are, as usual amazingly well established and, as always with his books, I get the sense of continuity….which is one of the main reasons I love Steve’s stories so much. You REMEMBER the people, because HE never forgets them!!! Anyhow, I loved the story and started with a new one just yesterday. It is a writer I’ve never read before, but so far I’ve enjoyed the story. I’ll continue to keep you updated on this one – “Loose ends” by Terri Reid.

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